it still amazes me

how many people judge my life and how i decide to live it.

its insane and i dont understand it, really. last time i checked… i was free to make my own decisions. last time i checked, i was free to date whoever i wanted whenever i wanted however i wanted to. thats what happens when you break up. you are free to do whatever it is you want. “oh its so soon” oh really? is 3 months of intense healing and working and giving everything i have to the LORD too soon to heal? nope its not. if you think God cant heal me in 3 months, then we are serving different Gods. Ill tell you the truth, im the type of person that im ok, as long as i know why something happened. was i upset when mario and i didnt work out? yes. but, have i learned what it is God taught me through that relationship? yeah, like the first month!! And yeah it sucks and im sorry if hes hurting, but he let me go. Its life. Ive done a lot of hurting in that relationship. a lot of supressing who i was and what i loved and my personality. a lot of being a chameleon. ive found someone who brings the me out in me, and i like it. all of you who have opinions about my life and what i choose to do…. i dont know what to tell you besides why dont you get your head out of my life and start living your own? im sick of it. i feel like, im only allowed to be happy if im inside church walls. and if im not in truelife on a sunday, it must mean that something is horribly wrong and i need to be checked on. so everyone asks eachother whats wrong with me, and very few people actually call me to ask me whats up.  guys, im ok. and im happy. im running after God with all I have, and im not going to stop until i see Him face to face. you can be assured of that. Nothing in this world can ever keep me from Him. So if youre genuinely worried about me, that should assure you that im fine. Im better than fine. Im figuring it all out. 🙂


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