First Day Of School… And other Randomness

First day of college as an official commuter. Cant say i like it, cant say i dislike it. i mean, it does really suck that im not living with danielle anymore. but i really dont miss looking around and seeing everything i dont want to see, remind me of things i dont want to be reminded of. its hard, but its the right decision. i think. so far. what does suck is the fact that the first day of classes, the professors only talk for about 20 minutes, and then let you leave. i got out of my first class at 12:10 when it should have gone another hour. meaning, i have to find a way to entertain myself here… at ambler… for 2.5 hours… without the convenience of going to my room and watching maury. how stinkin sad.

so, i guess its a good time to really catch up on whats been going on in the world of Jess. Nothing really. I start my new job on Friday, and im really excited about it. smallgroup was good last night, a new girl came out and we got to meet her and everything. she was really sweet. the four of us just sat around and talked like a bunch of girls. we also read about Hannah, in I Samuel.  Tonight is our other smallgroup meeting… I hope that goes well too.

So I tried fasting yesterday, and it totally… i gave in to peanut butter cookies! i couldnt handle the smell. it was… yummy. But just as i was about to feel disappointed in myself… God stopped me and was like… “yo. chill out. you did your best. you spent time with me. i love you, even if you eat cookies.” ok, so he didnt say EXACTLY that, but that was the gist. Thats the thing about Christianity. Sometimes, people think that all it is is a bunch of rules you have to follow, and if you screw up, you get really down on yourself and everything. But its not about that at all. Its not about rules, or structure or church or anything. It really IS about a personal relationship with God. Thats it. Its about going to God, and accepting the gift that he gave us by sending his son to die for us. Thats all. Sometimes we get caught up in what we should or shouldnt do…and miss the point entirely. The Bible says:

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you’.”    

                                                                                Matthew 7: 21-23

You can go through the routine if you want, but God tells us over and over again that He doesnt want routine, He just wants to know us.  He wants our hearts before he wants our actions.

Anyway, I still cant find the song I want. My room is a mess. My parents had this huge talk with  me about what is expected of me now that I am living at home. I just think they like to talk. I love them dearly, but it can be exhausting having all of these talks all the time. just let me DO it.  ya know? they are worried im going to distract myself with friends and church and whatever but they dont understand that i am actually TRYING to get my head together this go around. Im gonna do just fine. *sigh*

what else?

Im gaining weight like its my job. Christine and I are doing a “biggest loser” contest. we weigh the same and both have the goal to get down to around 145lbs. thats aboooout… 15 lbs. yes. i weigh 162!! AHHHH! WHERE DID IT COME FROM!? yeah well, i just need to start running again. i can do that on campus before or after class. sweeet. She has an advantage because its difficult to lose lbs because im naturally, a pretty muscular person. according to her, she isnt. soooo yeah.

what else?

mario and i are doing wonderfully. I dont like to type about relationships and stuff a lot just because in the past when i have done that, we end up breaking up and i can never look back on the things i said abou them because it would litterally make me physically sick. just because i was so dumb, and naive and its annoying. but i know sometimes people wonder how we are, and we are WONDERFUL. 🙂 hes good to me. and i hope im good to him too. thats all im sayin. 😛

everyone is getting the engagement flu or something. its contagious!!  its like, a couple gets married and then all the dating couples want to get engaged so that they can get married. its really interesting to watch. I had the flu for a little bit, but then my feaver broke and its all out of my system. well… the germs are still there, but im no longer showing any symptoms.  for some people, its like… mono or something. stop tryin to get me sick, yall!!

goodness gracious, this is an extra lengthy post. this is to be expected though because its now 2:00 and I dont have class untiiil… 2:40! But I will leave you alone now. Congratulations if you made it through!! I may just give you a prize or something.

😛

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