Soon End In Joy.

He is and has always been such a huge part of me.  I have been struggling lately, and I couldnt really put my finger on why. Its like I never feel like Im enough, and I very easily let that discourage me.  I feel as if I dont read enough, pray enough, praise enough, I dont witness at all… even though I have my own views on witnessing to people.

Anyway, some afternoons I spend with God, I find myself crying (not out of sadness, it is hard to explain) and praying for forgiveness. What almost always gets me to that point is music. Today, this song brought me to that point.

Something Beautiful

~Jars of Clay~

If you put your arms around me
Could it change the way I feel
I guess I let myself believe
That the outside might just
Bleed it’s way in

Maybe stir the sleeping past
Lying under glass
Waiting for the kiss
That breaks this awful spell
Pull me out…of this lonely cell

Close my eyes and hold my heart
Cover me and make me something
Change this something normal
Into something beautiful

What I get from my reflection
Isn’t what I thought I’d see
Give me reason to believe
Never keep me incomplete
Will you untie this loss of mine
It so easily defines me
Do you see it on my face?
And all I can think about
Is how long
I’ve been waiting to feel you move me

Close my eyes and hold my heart
Cover me and make me something
Change this something normal
Into something beautiful

Into something beautiful
Into something beautiful

And I’m still fighting for the
Word to break these chains
And I still pray when I look
In your eyes, you’ll stare right
Back down into something beautiful

Into something beautiful
Into something beautiful
Into something beautiful

It was the very last line that is bolded that struck me. Its exactly how I feel, but couldnt put it in to words.  Im afraid that I will never quite get it together, and basically spend my life trying to. But then I realize, thats not going to happen. This struggle of mine isnt going to last forever. I just have to figure out how to let go. I feel like this summer will have a lot to do with my growth, and I am excited for that.

Anyways, I just wanted to share that.

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