Bible Study

Ian and I went to a random Bible study in providence last night and i was very pleasantly surprised! The pastor was young, 27, married and had a 22 month old little boy named Silas, who was the CUTEST little boy ive ever seen.

Anyway, the people who were there were in their 20s, and not immature at all. Some were married, some had kids, and the conversation afterwards was mostly about Bible teachers and books and stuff. So the first thing i do when i go into someone elses house is look at their bookshelf.  You can tell a lot about someone by what they read. This guy had 3 HUGE bookshelves full of theology books, most of which i did not recognize. There was some John MacAurthur, and a couple of CS Lewis but that was about it. Ian said that a lot of the authors were old school puritan dudes which i found pretty cool.

So we went through the study and it was really good. I really enjoyed his take on things, but what I liked most was that it wasnt about his take on things. it wasnt about what he thought the text meant. It was about what it said. For some reason, that is rare up here. I think thats becoming more and more rare everywhere.  In a lot of places, Biblical authority comes second to emotions and feelings. People are trying to figure out God’s will for their lives, without opening up their Bible to see what the word of God actually says. Can be quite dangerous. He recommended a book called “Just do something” by Kevin DeYoung that im thinking about getting, although i dont think i will have time to read it.

Anyways,  like every single 20 something Bible study ive ever been to in my life, someone brought up “blue like jazz” by donald miller. If you have read my blog at all, you know my view on this book, and other books in the postmodern genre.  In short, i dont agree with them, and I wouldnt feel comfortable being under a pastor who had favorable views toward these types of books or the theology they encourage.  So I perked up, listening intently to what the pastor was going to say and was pleasantly surprised when he told her she should burn that book and go read some other book ive never heard of. haha. i was like… ok. she asked why he didnt like it, and he gave a very good explaination why that i dont feel like typing out, but completely agree with.

It was just nice that he wasnt afraid to “offend” the girl by disagreeing with her.

Anyways. Im just glad we found something I feel would be beneficial to our spirits. hooray.

3 weeks left!

And HELLO Braxton Hicks contractions!

For those of you who dont know, Braxton Hicks contractions are fake, do not indicate or lead to labor, and can be painful. And they are driving me insane physically and emotionally.

Im really hoping my water breaks soon. by soon, i mean tonight. im growing quite tired of carryin this child. as terrible as that sounds.

Tomorrow i am cleaning the apartment top to bottom.

Im stressing out over lots of things. I really wish i could just calm the heck down, but my hormones wont let me. My mind is constantly racing. I dont know how to release this.

Other than all of that, im doin well. Hangin in there. 2 weeks of work left. Hoping Anthony comes before then though.

What do I know of Holy?

“Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be
The slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees”

36 weeks

for some reason, this is some kind of milestone for me. 36 weeks. it means the hospital i want, will be delivering my baby and not transferring me to worcester. it means that if the baby were born next week, he would be considered full term. it means that i could go into labor at any time!

speaking of going into labor, friday was a little scary. i was having contractions, and i thought that maybe it could have been the beginning of labor but the contractions never intensified and they didnt get closer together either. eventually they disappeared altogether. i was a little disappointed, but it forced me to pack my hospital bag finally! hahaha. although ian has been stealing my blow pops!!! hahaha he better replace them!

anyways, this constant aware and anxious frame of mind im in is kind of enjoyable. ive never had something sooooo big to look forward to! and knowing that it could happen at any minute of any day is really exciting at this point.  Every ache and twinge and uncomfortable movement, i get anxious about (anxious in a good way).

so tomorrow is our next doctors appointment. After tomorrow i will be seeing her weekly which is also exciting. I must say, im not the biggest fan of my doc so far. BUT maybe that will change in the next few weeks. Maybe things will stop being so short and pointless and ill feel somewhat significant. Maybe i will remember the things i want to ask. although, everything i want to know has really been answered by the many many books and online resources ive been obsessed with for the past 9 months. haha.

anyway, im really excited. thats about all.

i want

i want to go into labor! every day i wake up hoping todays the day!! i guess its gonna be like this til he decides to come!

5 weeks and counting…

Last week went by pretty quickly! Maybe it was my going to the hospital for dehydration. awesome. i actually am glad i went though.

My doctor has been on vacation and I have not seen her since August 5th, and my next appointment isnt until August 31st, and thats a loooooooong gap when youre in your last trimester! So visiting the hospital and having them check on the baby and do all of those tests on me was actually very comforting once it was found everything was alright. So a couple days later, someone from the doctors calls me with abnormal results from one of the tests, and i got all freaked out. turns out its only a UTI thank goodness so they put me on antibiotics for that.

I wish i didnt have to work. I wish i could just relax and rest and everything from here on out, but we cant really afford it and i think part of my MIGHT go a bit stircrazy anyways. But my job is not easy to do when you have a basketball strapped to your stomach.  It takes me sooooo long to change the kids and do their routines with them and everything. Its also kind of hard because the people i work with the most have never been pregnant and dont understand how bad my back hurts or why it takes me so long to give the kids their showers. lol. dont get me wrong, they are really nice and everything but i wish they experienced what im going through so they could understand that i have good days and bad days.

I must say, im disappointed in my recording of my first pregnancy. Ideally, I would have written down week by week every symptom, ache, pain and emotion ive experienced, but i just didnt feel like it. oh well. ill hopefully do something to that effect from here on out.

So here goes!

As far as pains go, Ive been having back cramps like crazy. BUT ive been sleeping MUCH better!!!! so, given the choice, i would much rather be able to sleep through annoying back cramps then stare at the ceiling all night long.

Emotionally im ready for Anthony to come out! Im excited to go in to labor. really, i am. i think ill be able to handle the pain pretty well (until the epidural at least) and im excited to get goin!! So every little twinge i feel i get all hopeful that its labor and am disappointed when they dont get stronger.  I mean, i dont want to rush him out or anything like that. You should see some of the crazies on the message boards who are trying to induce themselves into labor!! I dont want him to come out before he is ready, but i am hoping that he is ready soon!!

But this is my prediction:::::

Anthony is going to be late. He likes it too much in there! Im going to get an induction date, and maybe a day or two before im supposed to be induced, he will decide to make his appearance. Its not going to be an easy labor at all…. im anticipating 14-16 hours.  He will be 7lbs 12 oz and a cutie pie!! Hopefully he has daddys eyes!

hahaha. that was fun. ok. i think im done for now… im takin it one week at a time!

Dreams

Last night I had weird dreams as usual, but throughout all of my dreams I had severe stomach crampy pain like I was in labor. It was never addressed or explained in my dream though. And when i woke up i felt fine. The baby was moving, & everything was normal.

6 more weeks…

Until he is here! (Lord willing)  I think my pregnancy has become a bit more unbareable because its so hot.  if it were wintertime, I may not be as uncomfortable as i am right now. Im so tired lately too, almost the same way I felt during my first trimester.

Im really excited for the last day of work which is 9/18! A little over a month to go!

I have not really decided on which way to go as far as labor goes. Part of me wants to try to do it naturally, but then the other part of me knows that im gonna get in there and want some medication once the pain gets too bad. So what i think im going to do is keep the option of medication open, and ill decide on the day. The only thing that kind of freaks me out is that because i work late afternoons and nights, and ian works during the weekends, we arent able to go to any child birthing classes or anything like that, and i just have a feeling that i shouldnt try to go natural without preparing in some way. so, maybe with the next kid ill prepare more or something. who knows?

Ive been reading a lot about labor and delivery and surprisingly it doesnt scare me at all.  im a little freaked out by the possibility of a c section, only because ive never been under any anaesthesia before in my life, and the whole being awake while being cut open thing bothers me.  I know an epidural is an epidural, but that makes me nervous just because i have no idea how (or if) my body reacts to numbing or anything like that.  But as far as the contactions or pushing or any of that goes, im as cool as a cucumber for the time being. But my biggest concern is the baby being ok.  Im so scared that hes going to come out with the cord wrapped around his neck. I cant get that thought out of my head.

But yeah, i thought i would update a tad. Overall i feel pretty good. there are no complications or anything like that so thats alwyas good. I am just feeling very anxious and my emotions go up and down very often which is frustrating for me and my husband too, im sure. Who, by the way is simply amazing. He is incredible and I am so so so so so so so so so blessed to have him. I dont know what i would do without him. Im a lucky lady.

Thats all for now.

6 long weeks left…

Baby Registry

Hi. Ive been asked a zillion times where im registered, and so i will just make a post up here.

www.babiesrus.com

click “find a registry” and enter in my first and last name. the city is bellingham, MA.

thats all for now!!  :)

venting

so i know im supposed to love being pregnant, and there are some things that i love. i love feeling him move around and watching my stomach change shape when he rolls around. i like not worrying about what im eating as much. i like being taken care of by my husband. i like the vivid dreams too (when i actually get to sleep). i like all of that.

but there are things i dont like.

i dont like the backache that wont go away. i dont like not being able to sleep!!!!!!!! i dont like peeing every 15 minutes. im soooo stinkin tired cause i cant sleep at night anymore. i cant get comfortable, and if i do get into a good position, all of a sudden im too warm and then after i turn on the fan i have to pee again and then when i come back ian is in the middle of the bed and i have to wake him up and turn him over … and then by the time thats done i have to pee again.

*sigh.

there is my rant.

i cant wait for him to get here! although i know ill be getting waaaay less sleep then, than i am getting now!