ugh

Anyone who knows me, knows that I HATE POLITICS. always have, and probably always will. In college I dated someone who loved having political debates and i hated it. it made me cringe. However, with everything that was prophesied in the Bible regarding the middle east unfolding, it really has forced me to open my eyes to the world around me… politically.

Theres a lot of things I want to talk about.

The first thing is this. i am so sick sosoooooooooo sick of the “Christian world” (ie radio, magazines, preachers etc) telling me that JUST BECAUSE IM A CHRISTIAN ive got to vote for the conservative republican! AND if i dont vote for the conservative party, im “not serious about my faith”. shut the heck up and lets examine this.

first of all, to assume that ANY candidate is a Christian just because they have been spotteed in a church within the past couple months or years during or before their campain is ridiculous. Because guess what? theres a pretty darn good chance that they are in a church so they can say, theyve gone to church. wanna know why? because the “Christian vote” is a big one. And a lot of people will blindly vote for someone because they heard they were Christian, rather than looking at what that candidate stands for and making an informed decision.

So in my opinion, if a candidate does not stand up and say… “I am a servant of the Lord Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior and I have dedicated my life to serving Him and Him alone. I spend my days prayerfully seeking the Lord, and believe the Bible is the inspired word of God which I have written on my heart. Let His will be done in this country, I am merely His vessel.” I will NOT vote for anyone based on their professed faith.  Thats what got us in the mess we are in now. Although, I still would not have voted for John Kerry.

ANYWAY. so my mom got this email from walid shebatt ministries (he was an ex terrorist who is now a Christian, he goes around churches and talks about the realities of radical islam). Anyway my mom got this email from their MINISTRY with the subject saying something to the effect of “OBAMA RACIST ANTICHRIST” and in there they had a youtube video of basically him talking about struggles of an African American person in America.

This is not the first time Obama has been painted as the antichrist and HE HAS NOT EVEN DONE ANYTHING YET. he has not done anything. how horrible is that. to attack someone like that. to say “if he gets in office the first thing on his agenda is to turn his back on isreal” which … is not supported by ANYTHING he has said or his cabinet has said at all. in fact, he said the opposite in regards to israel, which is all explained as ”Deception from the antichrist”. shut up. honestly. here is this man, making history and before he has even gotten in to office, youve already pegged him as the antichrist? are you serious? thats mean and vicious and i wont be a part of it.

Im not saying I am an obama supporter. Unfortunately I dont think he will become president because i really dont think our country is ready to have a “black” president. I think that there are a lot of people who have problems with race, that do not consider themselves racist. I mean, me, being a bi-racial (who could be mistaken for hispanic) girl has been descriminated against because of color. Many, many times in my life. Ive seen my dad get treated differently, and my mom because she was married to my dad. and we live in the SUBURBS OF PHILADELPHIA. me and my brother jokingly (and scarcely) frequent “the racist diner” up the street because the way we are treated is crazy. we ALWAYS get seated in the back with the other black people, our food is cold and we dont get any refills. ever.  you might think im making it up, but im not!!! this still exists, people! 

and if i see that stupid facebook bumpersticker that says “if obama wins, will it still be called the white house” one more time, i just might hit someone. its not funny, and its racist. along with all the other racist bumperstickers on that site … you know the one with the black guy hugging all the watermelons with the caption “is i in heaven?” like…. are you serious? its not funny. its tasteless. 

So as far as Obama being a racist goes, can I just tell you how difficult it would be to be bi-racial and a racist? very strange indeed. another thing, it is very difficult for white people to understand that there IS a disadvantage to being black in America today. People are still prejudice. And they have been speaking out about this for years. any comments about this can easily be twisted as “racist” but honestly, until youve walked in those shoes you will never ever understand. 

A friend of mine, and I, went to a black church a couple of summers ago. I didnt even find it weird that she was the only white girl there. When we left she told me that she had never felt that way in her life. That she knew that people were judging her and looking at her differently just because of her skin color. Even though I personally did not experience this and I didnt see anyone treat her differently, does that mean I dismiss her feelings and what she experienced? No of course not. I believe her experience was real and I believe that people judged her based on skin color. People do it every single day.

Part of me wants to vote for Obama out of spite. That sounds worse than it actually is.  I can tell you right now, im not voting for John McCain unless I discover some radically different policies than the ones he holds to right now, but I kind of just want to see what happens with Obama in office. Regardless of who gets in, Gods will will be done. We are on our way out, its a fact. maybe not in my lifetime or yours, but the Bible says and the world is lining up in a ways that confirm its all comin to an end soon. Either way, Gods will will be done.

 

Lets see something real quick.

Im sick of bein told that if im not a republican/conservative i dont have Christian values. Dont get me wrong, im pro-life and all that jazz. but in my opinion, democrats have the social morals that I really think Jesus would back up. Helping the poor, government funding and aid, housing, shelters, domestically creating jobs, etc. Yeah, people overseas need help but i think that we should be focusing more here. I really dont think the conservative mindset (as far as if youre homeless its your own fault. find your own way out and dont ask me for help) shows the mercy that the Lord gives us and says should be our attitudes towards others. The whole “you made your bed in it, now lay in it” thing, hm. i cant say thats the attitude Jesus wants in my heart, and im sure glad thats not the attitude He had towards me or anyone else!

Theres more I want to say, but I have neither the time or energy to say it… but the bottomline is this:

Think before you judge. Every person has a history and just because you have not lived it, does not mean it does not exist or affect many people every single day. Vote for whoever you want, but dont do it because other people tell you to. Dont vote for someone because everyone else that you hang out with says theyre voting for that person. Dont let anyone tell you (esp in this election comin up) that there is only ONE good choice if you are a Christian.  cause there isnt. Arguments could be made for either candidate.

Ive looked at the policies of both sides thus far and I agree more with Obama at this point. I cant base my entire vote on the issue of abortion alone. or the war, or alternative energies, or health care.

 

Do your own research and find your own voice. Yeah your vote may seem small and insignificant but in the end you may see yourself more clearly.

 

Im sorry for how badly written this is. Im not a writer and i never claimed to be one.  Deal with it.

Sorry

about the lack of postage.

Its one of those things where there seems to be so much to write, that I will never ever have enough time to sit here and type everything out. Not only time, but energy as well.

Everything in life seems to be going well. I like my job, im getting out of debt, and reconnecting with poeple i love. school starts again in the beginning of august. ian moves in to a house next week, and im gearin up for a weekend trip to ocean city MD in the beginning of Sept.

God is showing me some difficult things though. Whether I like it or not, Im pretty sheltered. I only know the world immediately around me. I know nothing about other cultures, worldviews, or anything like that through hands on experience. I know what I read about, and see on television but as far as experience goes, im a middle class suburban heart and soul. Whats interesting is that God has allowed me to see some pretty heartbreaking stuff. I have witnessed someone strung out on heroine, and later blacked out. And I have seen the heartbreaking reality of poeple who believe they have everything together (bc their job is good, house is good, and have all the material things wanted or needed and being able to party with friends on the weekend) while lacking the love of Christ.  the only thing that really matters in this world.

The conclusion I have come to is this. You can not force someone to see the truth. They have to be in a certain place in their life in order to see it. Some people have to hit rock bottom. And rock bottom for some, is a much harder surface than it is for others. 

In some cases, all you can do is live out your faith and hope they notice, and pray. Pray that when they reach that point when they realize everything is empty, when they reach that point where they question why they are here and “just because” is no longer a sufficient answer, when they begin to sense and pay attention to that tugging inside of them to question the things around them,

they will remember how you lived your life, and wonder if there is any truth in what you lived. And KNOW that when God said, “those who seek Me with all their heart will find Me” He meant it.

There are people who are not there yet, and there are people who are searching as we speak. The Lord has put on my heart the importance of going out and sharing the Gospel with those people who want to know. He has put in my heart to go to different countries and help out in orphanages, shelters or maybe even building churches overseas or something. I dont know exactly what im to do, but i do know that i have never felt the desire to do mission work so strongly before. And I dont even want to call it “mission work” because I think thats kind of lame. Its our resposibility and should be our desire to do these things. I dont know where or when or what to do, but i do know that when God calls me to go, i will go.

In agreeance with the words Isaiah spoke thousands of years ago, “Here am I, LORD Send me!”

i get so increadibly cranky when im hungry.

right now, i am so hungry.

:/

Last year,

I wrote this post.

“Now I plead with you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment.” I Corinthians 1:10

Same mind, and same judgment. One body, one mind, one heart. I dont know. I dont feel united as Christians, at all. There are so many who give us a bad name, that it scares the rest of us in to sitting still bc we are afraid of being judged. Is that it? Or maybe we are just selfish. Maybe we want to do the part of Gods work that is easy.

“Telling people how they should live” but when it comes to loving people, and living that way ourselves, its too hard and we just want to blend in and be liked by everyone. Paul tells us that in order to be a good servant of the Lord, we must crucify our flesh as Jesus was crucified. Meaning, those things we want to do … just to be like the rest of the world, we shouldnt do. We are called to live in holiness. Everyone. Whether you accept that call or not, its up to you… but you must do one or the other.

James says “Therefore lay aside all filthiness and overflow of wickedness, and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls.”

Thats our call to holiness. And not just to receive the words, but to put them in to action.

James goes on to say “But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man observing his natural face in a mirror; for he observes himself, goes away, and immediately forgets what kind of man he was.”

Dont be afraid of living the way you were called to live. You know it in your heart, you can feel it. Ignoring it, is just deceiving yourself.  Yeah its hard, and yeah youre gonna mess up. But in James it also says “Humble yourseves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.”

In order to be one body, we must separate ourselves from the world. Not the people in the world, but the attitude. The immediate gratification. The casual sex, the drinking and drugs, the porn, the gossiping all that stuff that in the moment, may make you feel good… but once you look at yourself in the mirrow, your heart feels a little bit darker. The things that you know, arent the way the God you decided to serve, wants you to live. Stop ignoring those inklings and ask God to help you out of it.

We need to be one body. Same judgement. One heart with one goal. We cant do that until we disconnect from those things that arent getting us anywhere. I know its hard, but lets pick ourselves up. Lets pick eachother up so we can serve Him who sent us.

Peter says:

“as obedient children, not conforming yourselves to the former lusts, as in your ignorance; but as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct.” IPeter 1:14-15

NYC

was fabulous. we had so much fun. we kareokied, shopped, ate french food and sushi, and just hung out.im so glad we got to do that.

theres a lot i want to write about, but i have decided that this is not the right forum for discussion. i want to keep it to myself, while i sort everything out.

I am going through something very spiritual right now, so please keep me in your prayers and pray that God keeps opening my eyes to the things He wants me to see.

quite excited

to head up to NYC tonight!!

so excited!!

I have a new

favorite website.

www.stuffchristianslike.net

its best if you start at the first post. it pokes fun at a lot of american christian cliches that dont really make much sense.

hahahahahaha. i seriousely almost peed myself at the “john mayer, or “the message” Bible” quiz. hahahaha. (for those of you who dont know, the message Bible is an EXTREMELY paraphrased version of the Bible. I hate it. And I hate it when people try to prove whatever point they have, quoting the message Bible. because it means that guess what? the REAL Bible probably didnt illustrate their point as well. )

Something more.

“I am changing
Less and less asleep
Made of different stuff than when I began
And I have sensed it all along
Fast approaching is the day” – Brooke Fraser

 

Yes, I have that feeling in my bones again. This feeling ive had since I was a little kid dreaming of Jesus coming back. that was before I even knew what that really meant. I remember those dreams so vividly, and I now appreciate how amazing those dreams were. Jesus appeared to me when I was little. He told me He was coming back soon. I didnt know what to do except be excited to see Him again, but in the past few years, I have really come to understand why He told me that so long ago. And I understand why those dreams have stuck with me for so long.

 I understand now that our time is limited, and I need to start affecting the world more than I am. There are people looking for Jesus, and there are people dying without knowing Him. I cant live knowing that without trying to do something about it. A friend of mine said that she regularly prays for faith so strong, it makes others uncomfortable. Im at that same point.

Ive been here before. Everytime I get to this point, something gets in to my head and convinces me that Im fine where I am, Im affecting peoples lives everyday and thats enough. So I pull back, because its easier to do that, than put myself out there and get laughed at by people who think my beliefs are ridiculous. That hurts. That pain of rejection causes me in many cases to pull back. Its just easier.

But whats easier for me, affects the lives of others. In my innermost being, I know I was created for more. More than walking around with a smile, something greater than being more polite than the average person. Giving more than an extra tip to the waiters and sushi chefs.

I used to think that “fellowship” was the most important thing, and most important way to affect the world. if people see how much you love one another, then they will want to know why you love each other so much. Now, I dont think thats really the case. Yes, fellowship is necessary… but I know now what I was involved in was not healthy fellowship. We spent all of our time together, with the same group of 5-10 people. Every day, doing the same thing. Cooped up in an apartment or sometimes we would take the occasional road trip. while it was fun while it lasted, ive come to find that it did not convey a positive message to those who were not a part of it.

Most, if not all, of my unsaved friends hold the opinion that I was a part of a cult. I had no idea of this, and when I heard it, it stung. Then I asked, “why do you think that?” and my friend replied “well you hung out with the same people every day, and did the same thing every day, and you guys didnt even do any church things” and i said “church things?” and the friend said “yeah, besides going to church, you guys just hung out all the time.” 

I was offended. And I initially chalked the friends’ (there was more than one saying this at the same time so it more or less felt like an attack) opinion up to their unbelief in God and resentment towards Him and those associated with Him.

But then I thought about it. What was being said here? What was being said was,
“you isolated me from your social circle, and in essence made me feel neglected and not worth your time.”

Rather ignorantly, I and my friends at the time were NOT spreading the love that Christ has for every single person, what we were saying to the world was ”we dont want to hang out with you because you dont believe in God,” just by hanging out together all the time and not being inclusive.

Who did Jesus have dinner with? Tax collectors, the most HATED people because they turned their backs on their Jewish heritage, to work for the Romans and basically ripped off the very people they were a part of. Who did Jesus touch and heal? Among the many were lepers. people who were so disfigured and considered unclean that no one wanted to even be around them, let alone touch them. Who did Jesus listen to and grant forgiveness to? The prostitute, the overlooked beggar on the street, the many people who thought they had done so much wrong they were unworthy of such forgiveness and love. Who did Jesus criticize more than anyone? the pharisees. The “religious leaders” who were observing the law with their flesh but not their heart. Those who criticized His outpouring of love and forgiveness upon those who had broken the jewish law and genuinely repented. Those who would not DARE have lunch with tax collectors, touch a leper, or show mercy to a prostitute, theif or debtor. No doubt those pharisees hung out all the time and contemplated ancient texts and the law and everything “religious”. No doubt they felt secure in the things they did every day. They observed the holidays, followed the law to a T, and kept company with those like them. But Jesus says to them: (In Matthew 23)

“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you shut up the kingdom of heaven against men; for you neither go in yourselves, nor do you allow those who are entering to go in.” He also says…

“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you cleanse the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of extortion and self-indulgence”

I am not saying that fellowship is not good, it is in the Bible that it is very important! But, we need to do some serious self evaluation of ourselves and the things that take up our time.

what is fellowship? Is it gathering in an apartment and playing board games until the sun rises? Is it taking roadtrips, hanging out all the time, occasionally talking about Jesus and Bible passages with a closely knit group of friends? Or is it banding together with the primary purpose of affecting the world around you for the glory of God?

Which affects the most people for the better? For the glory of Jesus Christ?

Why not go feed the homeless together? Volunteer at a shelter or hospital? Habitat for humanity? Do a breast cancer or MS or march of dimes walk together? Why not go street witnessing? Or plan a missions trip to a nearby city? Or you could hold worship services outside in a park somewhere. Collect blankets and canned goods and maybe put your money together to sponsor a child in another country? Or any ministry for that matter. Do these things in the name of Jesus, for the purpose of spreading the very love He showed for every single person on earth.

Its easy to lose focus of why we are here. Yeah, life is meant to be fun and enjoyable and we are supposed to appreciate the moments we are blessed with. But we are also here to work.  We are here to spread His message. Time is limited, and I for one am having a hard time swallowing that I wasted so much time in “fellowship” that was unbeneficial to the world around me. “Fellowship” that left my dearest friends feeling deserted and isolated from my life. I dont think thats what God had in mind for us.

I think we were all meant for something more.

“See then that you walk carefully, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time, because the dayse are evil. Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is.” Ephesians 5:15-16

Its amazing

how everything is lining up, just as the Bible said it would. Im baffled.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/7496765.stm

FYI

I edited my post “really weird dream” which includes an interesting coincidence.