“shine your light and let the whole world see”

so i have a lot of big decisions to make this weekend.

ok only one. but i dont want to say it, because its not a sure thing yet. but i hope it is. the whole thing though is bittersweet. more sweet than bitter though.

and no, im not getting married or engaged or anything like that.

this could be really good though. how exciting!

 

well, im going to go to panera bread cause ive been craving it all week… and its a friday treat.

Today…

is my 23rd Birthday! I dont know why im so excited, maybe its cause dad is gonna cook some ribs tonight. mmmmmmmm. yeah but nothing really cool happens on your 23rd bday. just a stop on the journey to your mid-twenties i guess.

its interesting, a week or 2 ago, i was having dinner/appitizers with Danielle and she asked me if I was, where i thought i was going to be right now.

No.

Not even close.

I thought I would be done school, I thought i would have a real job making real money and living on my own. and maybe be engaged if i had met the right guy by now, & i thought i would be preparing to get my masters and everything as well.

yeah, not even close. But that doesnt mean Im not happy. Ecstatic with how my life is turning out. I think sometimes we get caught up in our ideals so much that we lose what we have at the moment. This moment I have right now, I will never get back again. So Im going to cherish it. Its good to work towards something, but i think the journey is much more important than the destination. One day, im going to be done school, and im going to be married with kids and i will have a job and get my masters and everything that i want to do, and im going to look back at this moment, this very moment of me sitting here at the keyboard typing about my 23rd birthday, and smile.

 

Another Day

“Been driving through the night
I pull up and see the lights
This is the place that I call home
I watch you as you sleep
Think of all you mean to me
Touch your face
Kiss you softly
& Before I go to sleep I pray under the stars
Search my soul and check my heart
and thank God for

Another day
Another chance to love the ones I love
To find my way
To laugh, to dance
Watch the sun come up
Another day I get to live
As if
Every breath could be the last I take
I get another day

I have a hand that I can hold
Someone who knows my soul
A safe place to lay my head at night 
It’s just sometimes I forget
Just how much I’ve been blessed in life
I orget what means the most to me 
But  I’m waking up again I feel my beating heart
So grateful that I’ve come this far
and thank God for

Another day
Another chance to love the ones I love
To find my way
To laugh, to dance
Watch the sun come up
Another day I get to live
As if
Every breath could be the last I take
I get another day

To make somebody smile
Go the extra mile
Take a wrong and make it right
And try to touch somebody’s life
I get another day”

-Natalie Grant

 

 

notso

yeah im not so frustrated anymore at all.

im such a wack-job. haha.

im really excited though bc a lot of what i didnt like about temple was that learning psychology from a purely secular point of view was really difficult for me, because i didnt necessarily believe everything (anything?). I love my theories of personalities class so far bc i just did this assignment comparing and contrasting Adlers views of “safeguarding tendencies” with whatever the Biblical view would be. At first i was like. …huuuuuuuuh?????? but then i prayed and God just showed me a whole bunch of verses and stuff i could use in my assignment.

i have to say, it turned out quite awesome.

but anyways, i really like it because we are learning it, but we are encouraged to constantly keep in in check with the Bible. so its pretty sweet. and exactly what i asked for out of an education.

 

oh and ian called me from another phone to tell me not to worry, cause he left his phone at home. that was sweet of him to go out of his way to call and let me know. its the little things.

gr

im so irritated right now.

im sick

and i have to work from 630-530 tomorrow

i have so much schoolwork to do, its impossible

all i want to do is sleep

or maybe talk to my boyfriend

who probably left his phone at home whle he went to work.

gr. gr. gr.

GR.

reading this made me cry

Zechariah 3

Vision of the High Priest

Then he showed me Joshua the high priest standing before the Angel of the LORD, and Satan standing at his right hand to oppose him. And the LORD said to Satan, “The LORD rebuke you, Satan! The LORD who has chosen Jerusalem rebuke you! Is this not a brand plucked from the fire?”
Now Joshua was clothed with filthy garments, and was standing before the Angel.
Then He answered and spoke to those who stood before Him, saying, “Take away the filthy garments from him.” And to him He said, “See, I have removed your iniquity from you, and I will clothe you with rich robes.”
And I said, “Let them put a clean turban on his head.”
So they put a clean turban on his head, and they put the clothes on him. And the Angel of the LORD stood by.

The Coming Branch

   
Then the Angel of the LORD admonished Joshua, saying, “Thus says the LORD of hosts:

      ‘ If you will walk in My ways,
      And if you will keep My command,
      Then you shall also judge My house,
      And likewise have charge of My courts;
      I will give you places to walk
      Among these who stand here. 
      ‘ Hear, O Joshua, the high priest,
      You and your companions who sit before you,
      For they are a wondrous sign;
      For behold, I am bringing forth My Servant the BRANCH. 
      For behold, the stone
      That I have laid before Joshua:
      Upon the stone are seven eyes.
      Behold, I will engrave its inscription,’
      Says the LORD of hosts,

      ‘ And I will remove the iniquity of that land in one day. 
       In that day,’ says the LORD of hosts,

      ‘ Everyone will invite his neighbor
      Under his vine and under his fig tree.’”

ahh

i love michelle and halli.

so sweet.

 

sometimes,

all is not lost.

friendships can be stronger than lessons necessary for growth. it takes both of you, being the bigger person.

Love/Hate

I have such a love/hate relationship with “the wedding planner”.

When i see it’s on TBS… I have one of two reactions:

1. “aaaaw good i didnt miss the part where he talks about knowing the curves of her face and the flecks of gold in her eyes. thats so sweet”

or

2. “what the heck, man! how does a movie about an engaged man falling in love with another woman, the woman planning his wedding, rank as one of the better chick flicks released in the last 10 years?”

aaah. Im so conflicted. but today, i had reaction #1.

p.s.

can us mixed people get some love???
why is it not common knowledge that the first potential black president is actually biracial???
can i tell you how that irritates me? and yes, i understand he has black in him and thats a big deal or something, but… we are our own race. at least, thats how i feel.
i tried to look up a statistic of how many biracial people are living in america, and i couldnt find any. and then it dawned on me.
we have to check off the “other” box.

i dont think people understand how confusing or frustrating it can be.

when we take the SATs or any survey, what bubble do we fill in? should we fill in black because we look more black than white or do we fill in “other”?
you better believe they are gonna have to start changin that “check the one that applies” direction that accompanies that question, because theres a big boom of mixed race kids comin up!! and they arent going to know which bubble to fill in!

haha. my rant for the day.