“I will not be silent

I will not be quiet anymore.”

Im working on this. I have to address someone about something thats been on my heart. I hate confrontation. I hope he understands what I say… which is unlikely. Its almost like we speak two different languages sometimes. (this isnt about Mario, if some of you are wondering.)

I missed smallgroup tonight, but apparently it was because i wasnt supposed to be there for whatever reason. I went to element instead. A twenty something group in washington crossing. It was really cool. very intimate. I liked it very much, and i actually talked to people and made friends. What I would like to see happen, is for them to visit truelife and for some truelifers to go up there as well…

I really have a heart for interconnecting between ministries and reaching out to others in a more organized way. There is strength in numbers. And when you find people who have the same goal you do, you should utilize eachother and work together for that goal! There is no need to keep feeling like we are trying to do this all by ourselves, while there are people down the street feeling the same way.

One last thought. theres nothing wrong with church hopping. how else are you going to meet other people? im sick of feeling like im a freak for wanting to go to a million churches. see what is out there, who is out there, and wanting to connect with them. i want to unite the church. all denominations, all ethnicities, cultures, whatever. If you believe in Jesus, if you believe he died on the cross, and resurrected, and did all this so you can be forgiven for your sins, blameless in the sight of the Lord, If you believe the Bible is the word of God and hold yourself accountable to His word…. you belong with me. Lets go do His work. Lets go. Thats whats on my heart. Thats my vision.  & I just wish that people could, for once, understand what the heck im talking about.

sweet.

Wow. I know the Lord has some pretty cool things up His sleeve. I can feel it. This summer, I will be going to Italy for two weeks to spread the Gospel with some of my brothers and sisters.

HOW AWESOME!

and, you know what? im not even excited about going overseas and seeing Italy, Im excited about sharing the word with a seemingly lost nation. less than 1% of Italians are Christian. The city is full of religion. churches, cathedrals and stuff. But do they believe? I dont know.

Granted, I do have to come up with 2000 dollars that I definitely do not have. But God will provide. He told me He will. If theres one thing I have learned, its not to doubt the power of the Lord.

summing up my saturday

woke up.

got in a fight with my dad.

locked myself in my room, played my guitar and sang at the top of my  lungs. for a good 6 hours.

went to dougies.

watched HOUSE. and played “clicheables” or something.

& now im tempted to go in to the basement to play some more.

my fingers are pretty much raw. i cant feel them at all. and my arms are sore.

but im feeling expressive. its like.. i either want to sing or run. and i cant run because ive been having bizarre chest pains all day which is kind of freaking me out.

*sigh. but its after midnight and i have to be up for church tomorrow. i guess ill just read.

goodnight, world.

Another Awesome Song

Ok, I looked for lyrics online and there WERE NONE!! so i listened to the song and typed them up myself.

This song is called untame my heart and its by Jessie Rogers. Her cd is called out of the fire, i think. or something like that. i dont know cause i dont have it.

but this song is beautiful. 

 “Untame my heart

Cause me to run wild and free in the love You have for me

Open my eyes

Let me look upon Your beauty as if it was the first time Id seen it

Let me see You again

Let me love You like I used to

Renew my mind to the way it was before

Oh my Lord I wanna think about You all the time

Capture my gaze

Be my only love and my true passion

If only i can ask You this one thing

Let me worship You forever let me dwell with You all of my days

And dance with me again

Let the angels tell eachother heavens playing our song

And wrap me in Your arms

Sweep me off my feet into Your presence

Im ravished by You

And unviel my face

Offer Your hands to me my bridegroom

Take me back to Your place.

Cause one thing i ask

One thing i seek

To dwell in Your house

Forever and ever

One thing i ask

One thing i seek

To dwell in Your house

Forever and a day

And dance with me again

Let the angels tell eachother heaven’s playing our song

And wrap me in Your arms

Sweep me off my feet in to Your presence

Ravished by You

Ravished by You.”

I just love that line …”and dance with me again, let the angels tell eachother heavens playing our song”

It really makes my day…

when people comment on my journal, saying that my words have touched them in some kind of way. it amazes me that God uses my obsession with blogging to reach out to others!  Hes increadible.

I woke up with pink eye. boo that.

That means i cant go to training today.

but it does mean that i can go to prayer night.

um yeah i have pretty much NOTHING else to say today. Im really excited about our girls group. we seem to be growing, and taking a shape so im really excited to see what Gods going to do with us.

i have the urge to play BANG. (a card game)

but no one to play with.

this whole pink eye thing is really freaking annoying.

My favorite verse…

Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you.  And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.”  
                                     -Jeremiah 29:12 & 13
 

Its true. I can attest to it. Just call out his name with all of your heart. You will find Him. I know you are looking. You will find him.

today

is the day i start everything. hopefully after today, ill never have to be a cashier ever again, ever. imjust so excited. im now CPR certified and about 3 minutes away from starting my first day at the house. i am really kind of nervous/excited. its a good nervous.

whoo hoo!

man o man im sleepy though.

wish me luck!

…

it was PMS…

im not sayin those feelings arent in me, its just so magnified when i get emotional like this. i dont think im feelin any different than anyone else whos been hurt and may or may not have closure on the situation.

i have to go clean my roooooooom.

let it go

there are some days when i just cant stop thinking about the past.

and it hurts.

a whole lot.

i feel like im destroyed.

& i dont know how to let it go.

i really hope this is PMS.

Beautiful Song

Something Beautiful

~Jars of Clay

If you put your arms around me
Could it change the way I feel
I guess I let myself believe
That the outside might just
Bleed it’s way in
Maybe stir the sleeping past
Lying under glass
Waiting for the kiss
That breaks this awful spell
Pull me out…of this lonely cell

Close my eyes and hold my heart
Cover me and make me something
Change this something normal
Into something beautiful

What I get from my reflection
Isn’t what I thought I’d see
Give me reason to believe
Never keep me incomplete
Will you untie this loss of mine
It so easily defines me
Do you see it on my face?
And all I can think about
Is how long
I’ve been waiting to feel you move me

Close my eyes and hold my heart
Cover me and make me something
Change this something normal
Into something beautiful

Into something beautiful
Into something beautiful

And I’m still fighting for the
Word to break these chains
And I still pray when I look
In your eyes, you’ll stare right
Back down into something beautiful

Into something beautiful
Into something beautiful
Into something beautiful