Last Night

I was talkin  to patrick about how difficult it is to , when youre so used to guarding yourself… let people in to know you. I dont mean like… know who you are and how you act, but know how you feel about things and where you stand and what you struggle with.  How do you learn to let people in?

Its something Ive never done before. There are only 2 people in this world who I am completely comfortable with, completely open, completely honest, without my thinking “what will he/she think of me if I say this?”

Most of the time, people dont notice that they dont really know me… because my function in the friendship is to listen, encourage, give advice.  Its something I really have to consciously work on… because as patrick said last night, a frienship can only go so deep without reciprocated stuff. (obviousely he said something much more profound and “patricky” but thats my wonderful paraphrase)

So my goal is to share more of myself with the people around me. It may take a long time, but I want to get there eventually.