For the past

2 weeks or so, Ive been having these crazy dreams about the rapture. Whats driving me crazy is that I can not remember the details when I wake up. Its not like the dream I had in march, which was about that coming fourth of July… (which, was scarily accurate about what ended up happening around that time. the whole thing with North Korea shooting test missles, Aaron moving out (before we knew he got an apartment), Don going across the country and not being a part of my life anymore (this dream was had before we broke up), and me & Christine running to a church ive never been to, where God was preparing his army for the last days (this was before Christine and I even started talking about finding a church we belonged in. In fact, she didnt even think she was coming home at all this summer.)   Anyway, my point is is that God gave me a dream that was very prophetic. And I believe he is doing the same thing, becuase I know the style of dreams they are, and … they are the same.  I just wish I could remember them.

our friendship runs so deep… :P

oreolova85: I THOUGHT OF AN INTERNATIONAL FOOD GOODBYE!!!!!!
oreolova85: ar eyou there?
oreolova85: wow im glad i didnt just waste it then:-$
Mirv465: Hello?
oreolova85: hi
Mirv465: What’s the goodbye?
oreolova85: youre gonna LOVE IT
oreolova85: or think im a dork
oreolova85: its…
oreolova85: …………….
oreolova85: ……………………
oreolova85: cheerio, cheerio!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mirv465: yes?
Mirv465: Cheerio?
oreolova85: cheerio!
oreolova85: like the cereal
Mirv465: huh?
oreolova85: ok
oreolova85: think british
Mirv465: yeah?
oreolova85: sldkfjalksdjflkasdf
oreolova85: mary poppins!
oreolova85: COME ON!

oreolova85: im probably not spelling the first one right
Mirv465: That doesn’t count.
oreolova85: what~
Mirv465: It’s the exact same word
oreolova85: WHAT!
oreolova85: adgflaksfjdlkasj
Mirv465: You didn’t change anything
oreolova85: IT MEANS DIFFERENT THINGS!!!!!!!!!!!
oreolova85: you SAY them differently!
oreolova85: IT COUNTS
oreolova85: IT COUNTS
Mirv465: No, the cereal is named after the British word
oreolova85: no
oreolova85: its not
Mirv465: yes, it is
oreolova85: its an O
oreolova85: and its cheery
oreolova85: its a cheery – O
Mirv465: It’s a pun.
oreolova85: its not
Mirv465: They named it that way, so it’s both at the same time.
oreolova85: IM USING IT BECAUSE ITS BRILLIANT
Mirv465: So brilliant that the people who named Cheerios thought of it first.
oreolova85: thats dumb
oreolova85: alskjdfkjlasdfkjlasdfldlklkjdlkjdflkjsdafkjlasdf
oreolova85: asdfkjas;ldfjal;skdfjl;askdfj
oreolova85: Q@@@@@@@@@@@@@Q
Mirv465: It’s okay.
Mirv465: You’re going to come up with another one.
oreolova85: no im not
Mirv465: And it’s going to be ten times better than all the others!
oreolova85: that was the endall beall of all international goodbyes!
Mirv465: I know you can do it!
oreolova85: im so upset!
oreolova85: i cant believe that didnt pass
Mirv465: It’s okay
oreolova85: cmoooooooon, cheerio, cheerio!
Mirv465: You turned down.  Tater tata
oreolova85: thats because TATA IS NOT A REAL WORD
Mirv465: tata is real
Mirv465: I looked it up.
Mirv465: But that’s okay, because after I got burned… I came up with Tater tot ziens, which is ten times cooler.
Mirv465: You’ll come up with an awesome one, too!
oreolova85: yo. tata is not a word
Mirv465: I LOOKED IT UP!
Mirv465: sdkjlsaklsgdlhksajksadlsljdglg
oreolova85: im looking it up now!
oreolova85: tater is a word
oreolova85: tata is NOT
Mirv465: do a search on how to say goodby in different languages.  It’s there
oreolova85: =-O
oreolova85: THATS HOW YOU DID IT
Mirv465: well, yeah
oreolova85: you… cheated
Mirv465: I’m not a linguist
Mirv465: Secret inside sources
oreolova85: no
oreolova85: my cheerio should count. because at least i came up with it all by myself!
Mirv465: Maybe your brother cna help you
Mirv465: You didn’t make up Cheerio.  It was already a word.
oreolova85: I MADE UP CHEERIO CHEERIO
Mirv465: And the people who named the cereal made it a food.
Mirv465: That’s just saying it twice
Mirv465: Don’t sell yourself short
oreolova85: but with two different meanings!
Mirv465: I believe in you
Mirv465: YOU CAN DO IT!
Mirv465: I gotta run.  I’m gonna go get ready to head out and study.  I’ll catch up with you guys later.
Mirv465: What time are you all meeting together?
oreolova85: i have no clue
oreolova85: around noon
oreolova85: CHEERIO, CHEERIO!!!!
Mirv465: okay.  I’ll give Mario a call around then, or call me up if I forget.
oreolova85: ok
Mirv465: Oreo voir!

There is so much

I want to write about. And I dont want to get started, because I seriousely think id be here for hours just typing. theres just so many thoughts and feelings and emotions I am feeling at this point in my life, that I dont know where to start. I dont know how to figure it out. But Im at peace. There is a lot I want to get out of me. I feel it built up. I just want it alllllll out. I need to learn to pour my heart out. Not necessarily here in public for everyone to see… but to Him.  My whole heart. Keeping nothing for myself.

I asked him to break me. To make me see how much I need Him. He did. He is.  And Im not going to run away. He is what makes me happy. He is what I live for. I am not happy, unless I feel close to Him.

am I a dork?

because I really want to see “Happy Feet” … that movie about the dancing penguin. It looks adorable, and im up for a good penguin movie.

 The other night was a terrible night for driving. I got lost for an hour, and then almost hit a dear. He grazed the back of my car, and at that point I started hysterically crying. I had no idea where I was, it was late, and I hit a dear. Eventually, I got where I needed to be… but I was slightly traumatized.

Im just going to have to trust Him.

 

Praise You in This Storm

Casting Crowns  

I was sure by now, God You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it’s still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
“I’m with you”
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

And I’ll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I’ve cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can’t find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
“I’m with you”
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away

I lift my eyes unto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes unto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

This weekend

was good. Friday danielle and i went to dinner and chilled out. the indian food really did a toll on our stomachs, but we are ok now. saturday was open house. i had to be up at 6:30 and gave tours til 1:30. it went really well, considering it was my first open house. it was fun. after that, danielle and i made our way to new hope to visit nire who was visiting her mom for the weekend. we went to dinner, and had plans to go to a haunted house but there was an hour wait so we decided to hang around new hope instead. it was a good time.

sunday was church day. nicky cruz spoke at clc and it was such a blessing. he has a ministry called TRUCE that goes in to urban communities and presents the gospel through dancing, hip hop and other “unconventional” ways to relate to the people in those areas. i wish i could be a part of that, because that is the demographic that has really been layed on my heart for years now.  so i thought that was amazing to see. it was also awesome to hear his testimony. its increadible how the Lord worked in his life and through his life.

anyways, after that mario and i went to fairmount park… valley green. it was beautiful. we went along the trail and everything, and from the hill we were on, we saw a wedding! i wanted to stay and watch, but he didnt. haha. the brat! but, it was so special. anyway, the park looked amazing because the trees were all changing colors and everything, it was gorgeous. my favorite time of year. after that, we ate at carrabas. mmm.

then the eagles lost. i still love them though.

i talked to my parents yesterday about some of the stuff that was going on. my mom isnt mad at me anymore, and we went out coat shopping. she gave me a lot of personal insight, because she has dealt with depression and stuff in her life too.  pastor peters message last night was really something i needed to hear. it was about taking off the layers of yourself. letting people know who you truly are. letting God know who you truly are. I have such an issue with this. slowly, im letting my walls down. im becoming more comfortable talking in smallgroup (although this does vary week to week.) i know i have people who care about me, as much as i care about them. but i dont want them to worry about me. i don twant to feel as if im a burden to them. as much as people say they want to help you and want to care for you, i do feel as if you can tire a person out. and i dont want to be the person who tires someone else out.

i dont know what i mean.

 but ive decided to start reading about davids life. ive never really read it for myself. i think i could learn a lot. he was after God’s heart, messed up, was sad and lonely and depressed, but pulled through.

alright im also going to start running again. i know it makes me feel better… neurogically it releases endorphines which makes you happy.

goodness gracious iv ebeen typing for a while so im going to stop.

have a blessed day!

maybe a real update…?

so ive been officially diagnosed with seasonal affective disorder. (which is seasonal depression)

I think the Lord is using this to tell me which route to take career wise. When the lady told me she wanted to start light therapy (because the theory is, is that the decrease of light in the winter causes depression in some people)… i laughed. not because i dont think it will work, but because it just sounded so ridiculous.

For those who dont know, I have been really struggling with psychology as my major. Because as time goes on, I cant say I agree with a lot of it. Psychology and Christianity really clash at some points, and of course I choose to believe what I know, rather than what other people say. Bottom line: I really feel that He used this to show me that there is a way I can finish up my degree in psychology, without taking bogus theory courses…. which is to focus on the neurological aspect of psychology. focusing in on the brain and how different structures and lesions affect emotions. Its much more solid, in my opinion. Hopefully everything will work out with my classes and everything thats going on.

Don emailed me and asked my why I never email him or keep in touch or anything. I basically freaked out on him. I feel kind of bad about it now… but honestly. what right does he have to get mad at me for moving on with my life? Jeez.

Rosi and Polito asked me to sing a duet with Isaac for their wedding. I said yes. Rosi asked me if I was sure I wouldnt be too nervous… but I think that as long im singing with someone, Im fine. Or maybe that just works when I sing with Nire. I guess we will see! : /

Anyways, small group was good last night. I think its awesome that we are opening up to eachother more and more every week. We have a lot of good ideas, and I think we are all on the same page, and have a common goal. The Lord has truely blessed me. I love them.

Tomorrow im hangin out with danielle and nire! i feel like its been forever. i think we are going to dinner and some kind of haunted house or something like that. its been entirely too long since the three of us hung out together.. so im pretty pumped about that!!

Im really really excited about Christmas. I havent been this excited this soon since I was a little kid… and back then it was only because I wanted toys or something. I dont want anything this Christmas… I want to give so much. I want to form a carolling group and go carolling. yes. carolling. people never do it anymore!!

Lets see… what else??

Mario and I are doing quite well. I love him. Its so different. God is good.

Other than that? Girls night this week was interesting. We watched Lost as usual, and then went out and bought “the break up”, a bridal magazine and wendys. It was fun.

ok well, i think ive run out of things to talk about.

bye yall!

Psalm 15

LORD, who may abide in Your tabernacle?
         Who may dwell in Your holy hill? 
         
  He who walks uprightly,
         And works righteousness,
         And speaks the truth in his heart;
  He who does not backbite with his tongue,
         Nor does evil to his neighbor,
         Nor does he take up a reproach against his friend;
  In whose eyes a vile person is despised,
         But he honors those who fear the LORD;
         He who swears to his own hurt and does not change;
  He who does not put out his money at usury,
         Nor does he take a bribe against the innocent.
         
         He who does these things shall never be moved.

Not sure why

but I love the rain. I love the sound, the smell the feel. I think I love it so much, because its kind of sad… but a lot of good comes out of that sadness.

 I feel closest to Him, when it rains. 

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