my life is changing faster than i can imagine.

God is speaking to me, and Im going to listen.

there are things are things about people i will never understand.

im not going to elaborate, at all… because i dont no longer want to become what it is im complaining about.

so please dont ask me, because after this post, im giving up trying to figure it out.  i dont care anymore.  so in a sense, maybe i will become what it is im complaining about. from now on, im just going to focus on the positive things people have to offer… even when these things seem scarce.

i apologize to those who do care (for one reason or another), about the crypicism… as i know it may drive you crazy.

i love you all.

I love my smallgroup

Every thursday, I head home to meet with an awesome group of people and talk about the Lord. Last night, we talked about a lot of stuff, and it was great. Also, we are adopting a child (or two) from either columbia or africa. how exciting is that? its through compassion network, and the money goes to a lot of Christ centered things, along with food and stuff the child will get Bibles and stuff as well.

im so excited!

Its hard to know, that theres someone out there who still loves you.

Will I Ever Graduate?

That is the question, ladies and gentlemen.

I had a neuroscience quiz today that I believe went pretty well. As long as I keep up in reading for that class, I will be fine.

I have a test in my research class tomorrow. I still havent received the book yet in the mail, so this may be interesting. I havent missed a class yet though, so Im hoping he tests on lectures, or at least bases the lectures on the book.

yeah that was my school rant.

I kind of feel like… I dont know. nevermind, im not even going to bring it up.

Anyway, I have to go to work… the easiest job EVER. 8 bucks an hour. I can get some reading done too.

ANyway, sorry for an increadibly terribly boring update… whatever.

I cant seem to get my head together. I feel a little bit scatter-brained. But its the weekend, which means a whole lot of Jesus. I find myself fighting during the week, just to get to the weekend. Its like im holding my breath, and when thursday night comes around, I can finally let it all out. I need to learn how to not do this anymore. lol. That sounds so easy, but … obviousely Im having a little trouble.

I picked up “A Purpose Driven Life” the other day during my shopping spree. What was weird was that I wanted someone to read it with, and I asked patrick if he had read it. He just picked it up a week or two ago, and was also looking for someone to go through it with. How awesome! I also want to pick up a few of the martyr books. the stories in there are absolutely increadible, and make me wonder if I have the same measure of faith those people had.

I think so.

“The more I seek you”

This is easily one of my favorite songs right now.

Tonight is prayer night at true life. I love it. What I also love, is that I can request songs for Mario to sing. The perks of dating the worship leader…

No seriously, I care about him a lot. It just. feels right. It’s not difficult, it’s not comprimising, it’s not me trying to be something that im not. Its easy to talk to him about anything and everything. We have the same general goal, for our lives to glorify God above everything else. In I Timothy it says to “love from a pure heart, a clear conscience and from sincere faith.” That is a love I have never experienced with another person. Ive never met someone who was spiritually “on board” with me, or even understood where I was coming from, and where I wanted to go. Thats why Don and I would have never worked.

Not because he was flirting around with other girls, or that he treated me like a 5 year old child. (granted, these things had a BIG hand in why we broke up and stayed broken up) but he would fight with me about Jesus. Now, I dont mean asking genuine questions, or even sparking a small debate. He was belittling me and my faith, and thats just something I dont deal with very well. I dont belittle people who dont believe the same things I do, so why do you do the same to me? Granted, the Bible does say that “all who desire to live godly in Jesus Christ will suffer persecution.”

Anyway, where was I going with this? oh yes. Mario. I will keep praying about us, make sure this is what God wants us to do… but Ive been praying since I met him… so Im pretty sure of what God is trying to tell me. He lead me to a verse in II Timothy that says “pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.”

thats pretty clear, huh?

I dont know how

It worked out this way, but I only have one class! at 4:40. I straightened my hair today, and now i have a massive hand cramp. the good thing is, is that i dont have to worry about my hair for a few days, although im sure Bwing now smells of burnt hair. sorry girls, but what else do you want me to do when my classes have been cancelled?

well tonight is my awesome psych class, which is about positive thinking, and paying attention to positive attributes a person has. Its so uplifting!

anyway, thats all for now! after class im heading home for my church smallgroup! i feel like i havent seen them in so long, because i couldnt go last week.   i love them.

the other day, joe corbett came up to me and initially asked about donnie. we were talkin for a few minutes, and then he goes ” so why dont i see you around much anymore? you should come out of your room” and i was like… “mm im busy, a lot of schoolwork” the normal bs you give someone when they ask you that. and he goes… ” well, i dont blame you, all of your friends are gone.”  he SAID that to me. and the thing is, is that he wasnt wrong. it hurt my feelings a little that he put it in those words, but he wasnt trying to be hurtful. he was TRYING to be sympathetic… but did a very bad job. its alright though, just kinda made me feel more lonley.

in other news, I have decided to let my guard down. Go for it. What do I have to lose?

yeah i changed my layout…

but i dont like how all my stuff is at the bottom… the archives and everything. i think thats weird. however, i loved how i could put a picture up as the banner…

so thats halfway sweet.

tonight me and danielle are goin to applebees.

i miss nire.

So I really like main campus a lot! not the campus, but the classes there are much better, in my opinion. Im thinking of scheduling most of my classes there next semester too, so that i dont have to spend an two hours on the shuttle for a 90 minute class…

 Everyones askin me about donnie, lately. He called me actually and left me a lenghty voicemail about how well hes doin and how much he loves the AF. Im really happy for him. Im glad hes doing something he really wants to do, but I dont doubt that one day hes gonna kick himself for not finishing school first. That was a dumb move. But its alright i guess, not my concern anymore.

Well that was a super quickie update, but I have to go to work in west hall, then hop on the shuttle and then sit through my research class. maybe ill go to the gym today? maybe ill straighten my hair??

hm.

i hope i get my refund check soon!!! i cant wait to go shopping!!!